By special request by a Knight on a Quest I bring you da rest of da Epic Tale Of DaBump DaGrind and Da Holy Grail

Sir Da Bump and Lady DaGrind

Set off on a brave quest to find 

Da One and da Only 

Da Hale and da Holy 

Da fabulous fabled Da Grail. 

They travelled for miles 

Through wood, hill and dell 

No-where did they find 

Hide hair or bind 

Of da Holy da Hale 

Da One and da Only Da Grail. 

Now DaBump he was tired 

And Fate so conspired 

They should spy 

On da edge of da moor 

A very odd door 

Set low on a hill. 

Weariness inspired, 

So they knocked 

And DaBump later swore 

He heard someone snore 

Or swear 

He would not say which 

But he thought 

It may have been a witch… 

Now the door opened wide 

And standing inside 

Was a woman 

Both hale and hearty and bright 

“Come in” she cried 

“No need to hide! 

Dear Lady, and thou Sire, 

If thou be a Knight at Arms 

And not some frightened lump! 

Come thou in
And greet Da Hump!” 

Da two did timidly step inside 

And were royally wined and dined 

By their kindly hostess 

“Now tell me the purpose 

That brings you to this dell 

On a day so fell?” 

“We seek da Grail 

For we wish to partake 

As we heard that two 

That drink and sip 

Of that Holy Cup 

And da Liquid inside 

Shall never part 

Nor ever be 

Untrue at Heart” 

Now the DaHump 

With a grin and a wink 

Poured out yet more drink: 

“Why travel so far? 

Is da Cup not right here? 

Between the thighs 

Of da Lady Fair? 

You, Lady, know where... 

So pour in da Liquor 

And as to this task, 

Let not thy resolve flicker!”

“Da Liquor!” cried DaGrind 

“But where will I find 

Da Source or da Font?” 

Again did DaHump 

With jiggle and a thump 

On the table that made 

Da cutlery jump 

Laugh for their ignorance 

Tickled her fancy so! 

“Why Sir Knight,
Thou hast a spout! 

I’ll warrant that! 

Oh I’ve no doubt!

And that is 

The very fount!” 

And more and more 

Did  DaHump giggle 

And wrinkle her nose 

Even her toes wiggled. 

She leaned in close 

And whispered a word 

In Lady DaGrind’s ear 

Da Lady blushed I do fear, 

But bravely did proceed 

To lead her Knight: 

She bid goodnight 

To kind DaHump 

And took him inside… 

Oh in that bedroom 

Did DaBump sigh 

And blush himself, 

And moan and cry. 

But so determined 

Was Lady DaGrind 

That by sweet dawn 

Da Cup was full 

Da Spout quite dry 

Da Liquor drained, 

And all that remained 

Was to thank DaHump 

And go on home 

With a happy hop skip 

And DaBump. 

I must confess 

DaGrind’s distress 

When some months later

This steady diet 

Did play riot 

With her health. 

She grew quite full, 

Her belly high 

Her belt wouldn't tie

And only then did 

She perceive 

Da heady Liquor
From da spout 

Did seed and sprout! 

So in the fullness of time, 

Our Lady DaGrind 

And Brave Sir DaBump 

Produced a DaLump, 

A DaStump and a DaThump 

And finally one
Pretty maid DaGroin 

Our happy family did join. 

We now bid adieu 

To our sweet lovers 

DaBump and DaGrind 

Who bravely did find 

The secret to life 

Was held by happy DaHump!